What’s Your Home Run?

I borrowed that question over a decade ago from my soul brother Doug Tatum (who, by the way, just released a great business book entitled No Man’s Land – check your local Borders).   I’ve used the question with corporations, friends, and family.   It’s great for a business creating new products or strategic direction – it’s also a “fog cutter” for an individual to help him or her verbalize their life dream.

Let me rephrase the question by borrowing from another individual I highly respect, author and consultant Bob Biehl:

If God told you that you could do anything; you had unlimited resources – time, energy, money, etc. – and you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

Popular author John Eldredge calls it our God-given “Desire”;   I have another friend who is building an entire ministry around “Dreambuilding”.   Young men need dreams – they need to have the freedom to think about how it would feel to hit it out of the park with their life, doing what they do best:

I want every young man to answer the question – “What is your home run?”

But first they need the tools to answer the question.  

 

Too Many Choices?

“I’ve never seen a happy child at Toys R Us.”    Jerry Sittser

I had dinner this week with my favorite uncle – known to friends and family as “C.W.”.   He’s 83 now and still the mentally toughest individual I know by far.   I love hearing him tell stories of his youth – growing up on a farm in a small Florida community during the Great Depression.   His academic and vocational choices were limited which required intense focus and determination.   His father handed him $150 on the night of his high school graduation, told him he wished he could give him more, told his son he loved him, and wished him luck.   C.W. caught a ride to the University of Florida that night with the professor who gave the graduation address.    The professor dropped him off on the outskirts of town and also wished him luck.   C.W. found cheap lodging and showed up at a local dairy the next morning looking for work.   No jobs were available, but he committed to working at no pay until a job opened.  He worked without compensation for three months. 

For the next four years C.W. started work at 5:00 a.m., went to class in the afternoon, and studied at night.   He joined the Marines the day after graduation because the job market was tight and he wanted to serve his country.   He fought in the Pacific campaign, including Okinawa.  After the war he farmed and built enough capital to branch out and ultimately become a very successful commercial developer and a pillar of his community.

I provide this quick bio as contrast to the choices available to young men today.  I read a quote this week by author Jerry Sittser:

Considering the staggering number of good options my children will have, which college will they choose?  How will they decide?  How will they discover what God’s will is?  It would be far easier if I decided for them.  That day, however, is long gone.  My children will have to choose for themselves.  They feel overwhelmed already, and so do I.

Today young men have numerous choices and options to consider in the “macro” – choices on colleges, choices on vocations, etc..   But it’s the “micro” choices that are staggering – choices they make every day on their activities and their exchange of information – all of which are available 24/7.  MySpace and Facebook compel them to constantly keep current with a “1 inch thick, 5 miles wide” network of contacts.  Text messaging – fast becoming the darling “cash cow” of corporate commerce – fastens them to cell phones like insulin pumps.  

We recently added text messaging to our family cell plan.  Within a month, my son’s monthly text messages (combined sent and received) reached 256 per day – 7 days a week! 

Has the blessing of choices in our society created an epidemic of distraction for our children?   There is a universal rule of physics – Error increases with distance.  If the site on a rifle is off 1/32 of an inch – the bullet will miss the target by several feet.   What are the long-term implications of too many choices and distraction as a way of life?   How can we pull back – and if we can’t pull back – how can we help young men redirect, focus, and take time to reflect so that they can find Purpose and engage in the incredible Adventure at hand?

I believe there is at least one alternative.

The Brutal Facts

Admiral William Stockdale was the highest ranking POW in the Viet Nam War.

http://www.jimcollins.com/lib/goodToGreat/ch4_p83.html

When asked how he survived and even thrived for eight years in a jungle prison – Stockdale described that it was a delicate balance of two things – the brutal facts of their situation combined with an unwavering faith that he and his comrades would prevail.  When asked who didn’t make it back after the war, Stockdale replied that it was the “Optimists” who perished due to their own continued unmet expectations of freedom.  Stockdale insisted that we must embrace the brutal facts in all of life’s difficulties so that while we embrace reality we can also embrace hope.

So let’s take a few minutes to brace ourselves with a few brutal facts about the condition of our young men.  I had an interesting experience a few years ago at my daughter’s high school senior awards ceremony.   Students were awarded a variety of scholarships throughout the evening from organizations like the Lions Club to full scholarships from West Point and the Air Force Academy.   I was shocked to see that over 95% of the awards, including all of the military scholarships, were awarded to female students.  My daughter Katie shared the stage with 100 seniors who received an award for graduating with a GPA higher than 4.0.  Of the winners, 98% were female. 

Although sobered, I was convinced this percentage had to be anomaly.  I was wrong.  This lopsided dynamic permeates both high school and secondary education.  Nearly 70% of college students are female.  Young men read less and less and spend more and more time gaming online or sitting in front of the tube – erroding their intelligence and depleting their confidence. 

Several years ago I produced a video training series for one of the most successful high school leadership programs in the country.   The series included a number of interviews with top drawer students.  I asked the students about their opinions on leadership, their aspirations, and their dreams.   The men told me of their desires to become teachers, social workers, and philosophers.  The women described visions of corporate ownership, executive prominence, and political leadership.

Am I saying it’s wrong for a young man to dream of teaching?  Of course not.  Am I saying it’s wrong for a young woman to desire influence and financial freedom?  No – I have two talented and intelligent daughters whom I encourage to use their abilities to succeed in whatever profession God leads them.

I am saying there are some brutal facts staring us in the face and rushing underneath the surface of our society like a 500 mph tsunami – and it’s time to do some serious embracing.

The Question

Greetings and welcome to the Teknon and the Champion Warriors blog.   It’s been a few years since the incredible Generations of Virtue team published the series and I’m excited about the opportunity to interact with the dads, sons, moms, etc. who have a personal or general interest in the most underdeveloped, most at risk category of individuals both domestically (U.S.) and around the world  - young men.    

I’m thankful for my two (crazy) sons – Casey (23) who served as “beta test” for the Champion Training, and Kyle (17) who trained with several of his friends and their fathers five years ago.  I also have an unbelievable new son-in-law named Christian.  I’m proud of Casey, Kyle, and Christian - not only because they are godly and courageous – but also because they have aspirations and dreams in an era when young men are losing their ability to dream – and to lead.    BTW – I also have a wonderful wife (Ellen) and two beautiful daughters (Katie and Kimberly) - am I sounding biased….naaah – more on them in later posts.

Over the past few years I’ve heard from a number of parents and mentors who have invested the time and effort to launch boys into young adulthood.   I love ’em – they are my heroes.  The goal of this blog is equip these folks and hope that through interaction, discussion, and exchange of ideas we might help their tribe increase.  

The older I get the more I realize life is less about thinking we have the right answers as it is posing the right questions – questions that surface the real issues, or “Freakonomics” of problems we face.  As you will find out, if you haven’t already guessed from the Teknon series, I am a huge fan of the Superhero genre.  One of my favorite characters is a detective who ironically has no super powers; his nom de guerre is The Question.  This crime fighter, who wears a blank mask, conducts dangerous investigations until finally he is able to identify the crucial motive or purpose that will solve his case – at that point he makes the statement “That, is the question!”

We have much evidence to consider in order to find answers for parents and mentors in their struggle to launch their boys into young adulthood.  Why is it so difficult today to succeed in such a noble endeavor?

That, my friends…. is The Question!