No Man’s Land

 

My good friend, Doug Tatum, recently authored an excellent and widely acclaimed book entitled No Man’s Land; the subtitle of the book is “What to Do When Your Company is Too Big to be Small and Too Small to be Big”.  Doug masterfully describes the dangerous chasm young companies must traverse after initial growth in order to reach the next level of success.  He offers insightful observations based on years of experience working with companies in this category. His practical suggestions equip leaders of these ventures to make difficult, but necessary decisions.  Doug’s message is essential because these young companies are the future backbone of our economy.

 

There is another “No Man’s Land”, a different chasm which is far more prevalent and just as dangerous.  Let’s call it “The Teen Years, When Males are Too Old to be Boys and Too Young to be Men”.  In the book Do Hard Things, Brett and Alex Harris remind us that the word teenager is a relatively new term.  Until the early 1900’s boys became men between the ages of 13-15.  Even our American Indians were on horseback in battle when they turned 14.  How did these boys become men?  By assuming the responsibilities of an adult.  There was no extended, fabricated transition time where boys hearts, minds, and actions were “put on hold” until they could finish a formal education sometime in their early twenties. 

 

Take a look at the following clip from the new video series John Adams based on David McCullough’s popular book.  In this scene Adams sends his fourteen year old son, John Quincy Adams, to Russia as secretary to a fellow diplomat. 

 

 

Did you notice Adam’s acknowledgement of his son’s adulthood?  Can you imagine 99.9% of today’s fourteen year old boys assuming such responsibility? Many, if not most, of our male youth today are shackled in apathy, addictions, and insecurity.  For many men “No Man’s Land” extends well beyond their teen years as they carry the habits and behaviors of youth into business and marriage.  In a time when “Black Swans” of all shapes and sizes (I’ll discuss this term in the next blog entry) have the potential to emerge at any moment and change life as we know it, our boys are preparing less to be leaders than they are to be Wii-miesters. 

 

We must rescue (there’s that word again) young mens’ hearts and minds from the perils of No Man’s Land so they can participate as (at least part of) the backbone of our future society. 

 

Two Missions

 

A very dedicated mother sent me an email today with an interesting question concerning her son:

 

Do you have any ideas for real life missions?

 

She couched her question in an inquiry of how to involve her son in a purposeful endeavor at an early age.  Great question, great objective.

 

True missions, those that involve helping others with an element of risk, are tough to fabricate – I’ve tried.  I look at my father’s generation – his was an era of inherent mission and risk; WWII, surviving and thriving in the Depression – those men and women emerged from hardship to embrace a mission to rebuild this country with courage and purpose the likes we’ve never seen since.

 

I think the best options for “Mission” today – especially for young men – come from two sources.  One involves seeking God for a dream or purpose to accomplish – even for pre-teens.   Interesting that I see more entrepreneurs and shakers come out of home schools than any other academic medium – they are not forced into the cookie cutter educational mold – they think and dream creatively.  I encouraged the mother to order “Do Hard Things” for her son then help him think through a dream – and a place to start.

 

I suggested that she encourage her son to answer the following two questions after he read the book:

 

1. Who do you want to help?
2. How do you want to help them?

 

In my opinion, that is a mission.

 

The other Mission is (or are) Mission trips.  Every story I hear from those who have gone on mission trips as individuals or families have never come back the same.  Those trips challenge and enlighten like no other venue I know of.    They involve helping people, and push those on the trip to step outside of comfort zones and take the risk God provides.

 

That’s my two cents on two missions.

 

 

The Velvet Hammer

 

In The Purpose Driven Life Rick Warren states that life on earth is three things: a series of tests, a trust, and TRAINING. John Wooden built 10 national basketball championship teams with training, training, and more training; diverting attention from the scoreboard to drills and discipline. Wooden is arguably history’s greatest coach, and he never used the word “win” during his career. His mantra was “be at your best when your best is needed.”

Much of God’s training seems to occur when we’re not looking for it, or don’t recognize it. One of my all-time favorite movie moments occurs in The Karate Kid. You know the scene; Daniel(san) desperately wants to learn karate and anticipates that his teacher (Mr. Miyagi) will use traditional methods to get him there. Instead, Miyagi assigns Daniel to a series of seemingly meaningless chores – tedious, boring, and exhausting. After several days, Daniel gets his “Popeye” face on (“…that’s all I can stands I can’t stands no more…”) and threatens to bail:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q0h8hBqv3M

Wham! One Velvet Hammer made to order right across the kisser. I love Daniel’s expression when the light comes on. He doesn’t see it coming, but when he “gets it”, he’s got if for good, and never doubts Miyagi again.

We’ve all had our share of divinely delivered Velvet Hammers, haven’t we? Times get tough or tedious, sometimes monotonous to the point of madness. A few months (or years) down the road we respond in a situation with information or skills learned in the “Tunnel” and then pick ourselves off the floor, jaw first.

We live in an era when education has defaulted to a one-size-fits-all cookie cutter approach, laser focused on literacy without regards to learning styles and the essential development of creativity. Please take a few minutes to watch this humorous, but incredibly insightful discussion by Sir Ken Robinson at the TED Conference in Monterey, CA:

 http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/66

How does your son learn? Sitting, moving, listening, watching, etc.? Life’s lessons, those concerning character, discernment, and decisions can’t be learned, for the most part, in a classroom. What “hammers” can you create that will best fit your son’s learning style and leave him with pupils dilated and jaw on the floor? Time invested in this type of training will help him now and in the future to be at his best when his best is needed.

Recommended (that’s putting it mildly) reading: Wooden on Leadership by my hero, Coach John Wooden.

Do Hard Things – The Essential Rebellion

 

http://www.generationsofvirtue.org/product_info.php?products_id=757

 

I just finished a book that rocked my world.  I just wished I could have read it 35 years ago.  Brett and Alex Harris, twin brothers of Joshua Harris (author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye) wrote Do Hard Things – a book every teenager (an unfortunate term they explore) and parent should read, now!

 

It all started with a blog that the twins launched a few years ago entitled The Rebelution (www.therebelution.com).  The goal was to create a venue where teens could be challenged and challenge each other to hold themselves to higher expectations, aspirations, and dreams.  The result was viral; it soon became and remains one of the top 5 teen blogs on the web. 

 

Brett and Alex now travel the world with their challenge.  They also tour the Do Hard Things Conference, which is catching fire nationwide. 

I’ll revisit some of Do Hard things principles in subsequent posts, but suffice it to say that this is the message our youth (and the rest of us) should read and heed in order to challenge ourselves to a higher level of expectation and impact in this world.