Men in Boys’ Bodies

 

Remember the movie Big with Tom Hanks?  Hanks played an early teen boy who passionately wished to be an adult or in his terms “big.”  His wish was supernaturally granted and he was off on the adventure of trying to live and work as a boy in a man’s body.  Ironically, we will soon need a movement that requires just the opposite – men in boys’ bodies – we will need our sons to grow up faster.

 

Not faster in terms of “adult privileges” like drinking and gambling; but faster in terms of developing the ability to assume responsibility and navigate through the “Swans and Storms” on our horizon. 

 

Some Americans didn’t make it through the Great Depression. Those that survived, and especially those that made it through World War II, lived to rebuild this nation through a unified movement of courage, hard work, innovation, risk and reformation. 

 

I’ve posted this clip before, but it merits a second view.  It’s from the highly acclaimed series John Adams based on David McCullough’s popular book.  In this scene Adams agrees to send his fourteen year old son (and future president), John Quincy Adams, to Russia as secretary to a fellow diplomat. 

 

 

Most of our boys are not ready to assume the responsibility of adulthood.  Unfortunately they may not have the luxury of the past few generations including my own, to wait until their second decade to engage.  A squall, as I discussed in the last post, can emerge at a moment’s notice with devastating (and far reaching) results.  The financial, political, and terrorist pressure systems are forming all over the globe.  Preparation starts with considering what responsibility your son will be required to assume in the next great challenge.  Take another look at him – I’ll bet he’s already a few inches taller.

Black Bird Squalls

 

One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.”  So they got into a boat and set out.  As they sailed, He fell asleep.  A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.  The disciples went and woke Him, saying “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”  He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided and all was calm.  “Where is your faith?”  He asked his disciples.

 

Luke 8:22-25

 

Squalls by definition have several characteristics.  They appear unexpectedly, they strike quickly, and they devastate those in their path.  Sounds a lot like those stupid Black Birds I’ve mentioned so often in the past few months, doesn’t it?  Here’s Wickapedia’s definition of the legendary version of this storm event, known to sailors throughout history as the “white squall”:

 

A white squall is a sudden and violent windstorm phenomenon at sea which is not accompanied by the black clouds generally characteristic of a squall. The name refers to the white-capped waves and broken water, its meager warning to any unlucky seaman caught in its path.

 

The disciples experienced this type of intense calamity first hand.  So did the crew of the Albatross, the sailboat school at sea in the early 1960s that encountered a white squall at sea with devastating results:

 

 

We all experience white squalls of sorts, don’t we?  Probably not at sea, but certainly on our journey across this ocean we call life.  It can be disturbing that Jesus not only rescued the disciples from the storm, He also created the calamity.  Another gospel account of a similar storm describes that Jesus observed the disciples at a distance as they tried to survive the pounding waves; He actually waits several hours before walking out (on the water) and chastising them for their lack of trust. 

 

What do we do when we find our family, our business, or our entire economy suddenly surrounded by waves the size of the Smokies and thunder as loud as Wagnerian percussion?  Our human nature screams “Panic, every man for himself!” while Jesus watches us thrashing and waits for our hearts to calm and trust.  Squalls probably fall into that unpleasant “ferocious flirting” category I mentioned a few posts back.  God is “…in the rain” as Evy described in the movie “V”.  Storms fortify our faith and forge the foundation of our teams and families if we embrace the experience:

 

 

Take your son to Starbucks and tell him about the “squalls” you’ve experienced in your life.  Tell him that storms are on the horizon, but when they appear he doesn’t need to run from the wind – he couldn’t even if he wanted to.  Train him to prepare now – emotionally, physically, mentally, and most importantly – spiritually.  He needs to know he won’t see the squall coming, but he can remember Who created the storm.  Your son can, with his ship mates, learn to trim his sails and trust that God is indeed, in the rain. 

 

 

Emotionomics

 

I’m a big fan of the book Freakonomics, Steven Levitt’s angled view of measuring, as he describes, “The Hidden Side of Everything.”  Leavitt focuses on history’s “hidden” truth, the real reasons why trends or standards exist today.  My favorite case study in the book revolves around the numerical demise of the Klu Klux Klan.  The KKK enjoyed a huge membership during the 1940’s and 50’s.  Over 1,000,000 members terrorized minorities with their militant and often violent racist activities.  The country at large was at a loss to slow KKK’s growth or reduce the extent of their rampage.  And then something unexpected and improbable (Black Swan meets the Freak?) happened.  Membership of the white robed fanatics dwindled dramatically almost overnight.  Some attributed the drop to political pressure, others increased law enforcement; not even remotely the case.

 

The hidden truth buried itself in what was then the most powerful entertainment medium – radio.  The most popular radio program of that age centered on the antics of my hero and yours – The Adventures of Superman.  One news reporter, Mr. Stetson Kennedy, went undercover with the Klan to get first hand knowledge of their internal behavior.  To Kennedy’s surprise he observed that most Klan members led normal lives; devoted husbands and loving fathers by day and domestic terrorists by night.  Kennedy devised a strategy with the Superman writers to create a series of programs where the KKK went members e mano with the Man of Steel.  Klan members played bad guys against truth, justice, and the American way. 

 

What happened?  The average Klanster went home and removed his hood to the sound of his children cheering Superman as he thwarted the evil efforts of the KKK fraternity.  No dad in his right mind wants to be the villain in his kids’ mental and emotional “story”.  The Klan was helpless to stop the series and, for the most part, disappeared from history.

 

I recount that story to emphasize the power of emotion in our country’s history.  In fact, I believe there should be a subset of measurement in Freakonomics called “Emotionomics”.  We see it lived out vividly today.   The stock market plummets like a millstone in open water – we watch the 24/7 news stations with sweat streaming from our pores and we internalize the dramatic blow by blow anchor blather.  We fantasize the worst, and our political leaders react with one “magic trick” after another – hoping something friendly will appear and be embraced:

We react nationwide in tandem as if our adrenal glands were pool pumps; seldom do we choose to ignore the media, remain calm, and let the waters settle.  Instead we fall prey to monumental mood swings and live out a chapter in the annals of Emotionomics.  Are Black Swans in full swoop?  Yes and the world will be a different place as a result when the dust settles.  But we need to chill and keep our radar high for the “hidden truth” in the mire of information. 

A trusted friend and executive in a major financial institution described the role to me of hedge fund traders in the current wild market swings. These Phd’s in Emotionomics make ridiculous money trading massive amounts of stock going up and going down.  So part of the hidden truth is that the unbridled greed of a few individuals is affecting the emotional well being of the entire country. 

 

My point?  Calm down and apply the heavenly hat trick – Read, Radar, and Risk.  Bring your son into this conversation, and help him understand the hidden truth of what’s transpiring in the emotional, “new normal” of our country’s history.  Listen to God’s voice and learn to giggle when a news anchor or political pun dent begins his/her monologue with “Hey Rocky….”.

 

 

The Fear of Looking Stupid

 

Why would anyone want to stand up and stick out today?  Watch any 24/7 news channel for fifteen minutes and you drop to the sofa in a cold sweat, relieved that one slightly radical comment you made yesterday wasn’t captured on a video phone and now serves as the point-counter point fodder for the anchor on duty.  I love this cartoon from the weekend paper because it exemplifies the reason we fear looking stupid and why we fall into a paradigm of playing “not to lose”:

 

 

Our “fear of stupid” not only discourages individuals from taking a stand, it also inhibits employees (especially of publically traded companies – more later) from contributing creative ideas that will increase innovation and contribute to the economic recovery of our nation.  Increased compliance, heightened examination, and misrepresentation prompt the average citizen or worker to focus primarily on the art of remaining “unnoticed.”

 

For most adults, this wave of scrutiny is a relatively new phenomenon – but we all recognize the tsunami that has traveled 500 miles per hour for the past few years that has now breached and permeates every dimension of our lives.  But what about our young men?  What do they think when they see lives decimated by an opinion or singular mistake?  How does this effect their desire (and future desire) to make an impact?

 

I’ll keep coming back to the “hat trick”.  I’ve shortened the definition to make it memorable:

 

• Read – the Bible every day
• Radar – keep eyes and ears open; expect God to show up and offer an opportunity to respond
• Risk – be willing to look foolish (stupid?)

 

Let’s make sure we keep a finger on our sons’ confidence pulse as well as our own to make sure we don’t allow the Illusionist to divert our attention from the real Game.  Let’s encourage our young men to play to win – and avoid playing not to lose.

The Ferocious Flirt (a.k.a God is in the Rain)

 

It (God’s will) is mysterious and terrifying, like the unfathomable depths of the ocean, full of wonders and dangers.

 

Jerry Sittser – The Will of God as a Way of Life

 

I love listening to fighter pilots tell stories, especially Navy pilots.  Years ago a former pilot and friend described a phenomenon common to almost every naval aviator at least once in his career.  He called it being “in the barrel.”  It goes something like this – it’s a stormy night, fifteen foot seas, visibility zero, and the pilot is trying land his craft on a bobbing postage stamp on a black ocean in the black of night.  Conditions worsen; fuel drops below the red line.  The plane quickly descends and the pilot becomes convinced he will not make it.  In his mind and heart he’s dead or soon will be.  In that moment something terribly wonderful happens – the pilot faces his own death.  A few seconds later several tons of steel drops on the carrier deck, the cable catches and the engines shut down.  He’s safe…. safe….but never again the same man.

 

Joseph had a similar experience.  He’s locked up in prison, away from friends, good food, and civilization.  Two years have passed since the cup bearer promised to put in a good word with Pharaoh; now he’s alone (except for his fellow prisoners and the guard) and probably thinking “This is it.  This is where God wants me to be the rest of my life.  So be it.”  One day he wakes up, gets a bath, new clothes and an audience with the Grand Puba.  Later that day he’s promoted to second in command of the most powerful country on the planet. 

 

Watch this clip from the movie “V for Vendetta”.  Evey, played by Natalie Portman, has just experienced imprisonment by what she believes is the dictatorial regime who is looking for the masked freedom fighter “V”.  Every day she is tortured, and then asked where V is located.  She doesn’t’ reveal his hideout, even when threatened with certain death.  Listen carefully to the dialogue.

 

Why are pain and agony such intimate bedfellows when it comes to facing our fears?  Why does God allow such trials?  In those times He seems as much a ferocious flirt as He is fascinating.  Remember the verse from Habakkuk from my last post:

 

Look at the nations and watch – and be utterly amazed.  For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.

 

I didn’t mention that was neslted in God’s description of the tribulation Israel would soon experience for the next 400 years.

 

As Jerry Sittser states, He is both mysterious and terrifying.  But above all, He is good.  What happens to the pilots who survive their trip through the barrel?  Many become innovative entrepreneurs with no fear of failure.  What happened to Joseph?  He led Egypt with full confidence (in God) through the greatest famine in history.  In the movie clip V tells Evey that she has faced her own death, to commit to it, and remember it. He reminds her that when faced with fate she found something more important than her own life, a reason beyond her own existence. Jesus said the same thing: 

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39)

 

When we’re in the barrel, we want to be anywhere else.  Unfortunately, when God ferociously flirts with us – it’s where we need to be to learn what we need to learn.  And after we end up on the deck, engines off, our hands clutching the stick, and teeth clenched – we too will have an opportunity to realize that we have no need to fear.  From that moment on we become very dangerous to the Illusionist, and he knows it.

 

Read the story of Joseph with your son and discuss the barrel.  The more he understands that his Father in heaven also flirts ferociously, the more prepared he will be for the storm.  For as Evey says, “God is in the rain.”

The Fascinating Flirt

 

I engaged in an interesting discussion over coffee last Saturday morning.  The topic was God’s fascinating, infinitely creative, and totally unpredictable leading in our lives.  In one way seeking God’s will is an exciting “bird watching” escapade; we live moment to moment with our radar on Defcon 1, looking for the Black Swans (good birds) to descend from the sky or emerge from the nearest Starbucks.  On the other hand our lives seem akin to a life-long gig of playing Sherlock Holmes where the “game” is constantly “afoot” and we require a heightened sense of observation and ratiocination to piece together the clues He drops in our path. 

 

In the midst of our banter, one of my friends described this process of “Practicing the Presence of God” (title of Brother Lawrence’s short but profound book) as God flirting with us.  I confess, as weird and awkward as it sounds, I immediately connected with the term.  God loves us; in fact He loves us so much that he makes life an Adventure.  We seek Him, we stumble, we fall, we get up, we read His word, we listen to friends, we respond to His clues and bread crumbs, we help others, we fail, we learn… we mature… and we enjoy the fascinating, flirtatious nature of our Creator. 

 

Sometimes flirting can mean a loving nudge that comes when we need to remember that He’s always with us – sometimes helping us to recover from our own failure and bad choices.  Watch this short clip from the movie “The Legend of Bagger Vance”.  Matt Damon plays a talented golfer named Rannulph Junuh who has a “Shadow” haunting him – buried memories and guilt from a traumatic event in World War II.  A series of improbable events lands Rannulph in a tri-match with the two most successful pros of that age – Bobby Jones and Walter Hagen.  A caddy appears before the event (Will Smith) named Bagger Vance and promptly offers his services to Rannulph.  After a rough start, Rannulph plays his way back into contention with Bagger’s coaching and encouragement.  In the final round, near the end of the match, Rannulph drives his ball deep into the woods. It’s in that unlikely place where Rannulph experiences the best of all flirtations:

Look at the nations and watch – and be utterly amazed.  For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if you were told.  Habakkuk 1:5

 

When we embrace His leading in the Adventure, when we realize that He connects dots through time and space in ways and means we cannot even imagine – strange and unusual things start to happen.  Remember the “heavenly hat trick”:

 

1. Read the Bible every day
2. Spiritual radar on Defcon 1
3. Be willing to look foolish

 

Enjoy the flirtations of your Creator, and encourage your son to love Him too…and the Adventure He offers.