The Calm Resolve of Inner Peace

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I meet with a small group of  close brothers every Sunday at 7:00 a.m. in a local Panera.  We share life and learning at a level that only comes from long-term earned respect and trust.  We more than casually call ourselves “The Tunnel Boys.”   We’re currently chewing our way through “Shattered Dreams” by Larry Crabb, one stick of triple thick jerky at a time.  This is a book I do not recommend to many – it’s difficult enough to chew much less swallow.  I read a quote out loud this morning:

“Whatever the angel said to strengthen Jesus, the effect was surprising.  I would have expected Him to dry His eyes, smile bravely, and get on with His mission.  But instead Jesus cried harder, so hard that His sweat became like drops of blood.  That happened after He was strengthened.  Perhaps we’re meant to learn that the richest hope permits the deepest suffering, which releases the strongest power, which then produces the greatest joy.  Maybe there is no shortcut to joy.  Maybe God sometimes frustrates our desire to experience Him in order to deepen it… And then, at some point, Jesus did stop crying.  The season of anguish yielded to calm resolve.”

Calm resolve.  Peace of heart and mind.  I’m reminded of one of my heroes – Admiral William Stockdale.   Stockdale was the highest ranking POW in Viet Nam.  He spent over six years in a concentration camp with a number of other courageous comrades.  When asked how he survived that long in tortuous captivity, he responded with this statement that has since earned the title of “The Stockdale Paradox”:

On the one hand, we stoically accepted the brutal facts of our reality. On the other hand, we maintained an unwavering faith in the endgame, and that we would prevail.

For over 50 years my definition of hope was the anticipation that life “here” will get better.   According to Crabb, and Admiral Stockdale for that matter, that’s a illusion from the Imperious Illusionist himself.  Life may not get better HERE, but it will THERE.  Life, even life difficulty and pain can be preparation HERE for full participation THERE.

Can we face this reality with “calm resolve” and/or “stoic acceptance”?  I struggle with this on a daily basis – but the truth remains; “The richest hope permits the deepest suffering, which releases the strongest power, which then produces the greatest joy.”  To which I say to myself – “Take that jerky, Mr. Sapp, and chew on it.”

The Brutal Facts

Admiral William Stockdale was the highest ranking POW in the Viet Nam War.

http://www.jimcollins.com/lib/goodToGreat/ch4_p83.html

When asked how he survived and even thrived for eight years in a jungle prison – Stockdale described that it was a delicate balance of two things – the brutal facts of their situation combined with an unwavering faith that he and his comrades would prevail.  When asked who didn’t make it back after the war, Stockdale replied that it was the “Optimists” who perished due to their own continued unmet expectations of freedom.  Stockdale insisted that we must embrace the brutal facts in all of life’s difficulties so that while we embrace reality we can also embrace hope.

So let’s take a few minutes to brace ourselves with a few brutal facts about the condition of our young men.  I had an interesting experience a few years ago at my daughter’s high school senior awards ceremony.   Students were awarded a variety of scholarships throughout the evening from organizations like the Lions Club to full scholarships from West Point and the Air Force Academy.   I was shocked to see that over 95% of the awards, including all of the military scholarships, were awarded to female students.  My daughter Katie shared the stage with 100 seniors who received an award for graduating with a GPA higher than 4.0.  Of the winners, 98% were female. 

Although sobered, I was convinced this percentage had to be anomaly.  I was wrong.  This lopsided dynamic permeates both high school and secondary education.  Nearly 70% of college students are female.  Young men read less and less and spend more and more time gaming online or sitting in front of the tube – erroding their intelligence and depleting their confidence. 

Several years ago I produced a video training series for one of the most successful high school leadership programs in the country.   The series included a number of interviews with top drawer students.  I asked the students about their opinions on leadership, their aspirations, and their dreams.   The men told me of their desires to become teachers, social workers, and philosophers.  The women described visions of corporate ownership, executive prominence, and political leadership.

Am I saying it’s wrong for a young man to dream of teaching?  Of course not.  Am I saying it’s wrong for a young woman to desire influence and financial freedom?  No – I have two talented and intelligent daughters whom I encourage to use their abilities to succeed in whatever profession God leads them.

I am saying there are some brutal facts staring us in the face and rushing underneath the surface of our society like a 500 mph tsunami – and it’s time to do some serious embracing.